


The Beauty of Hope

by emmaliza



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 21:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmaliza/pseuds/emmaliza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"God had saved Cosette, blessed her. Eponine was enthralled. She couldn't prevent herself from thinking: if only she could make her way back to the other girl. For if she did, if Cosette learnt to love her, perhaps God would have mercy. Perhaps he would save Eponine like he did Cosette." Eponine also falls in love with Cosette when she and Marius see her. It leads her to the same place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt (from the kink meme): "Unrequited!Éponine/Cosette: 'I love her... but only on my own' (Bonus points for allusions to their childhood.)" (I may have made it more than allusions).

She's unsure what she thought of Cosette in her childhood. She's not certain she deigned to think anything. After all, to think would be to risk disagreeing with her mother, falling on her bad side; just how her mother treated Cosette indicated this is not something she would want to do.

Instead, she ignored the other girl, as one may eventually come to do with a particularly persistent rodent on one's premises that stubbornly refuses to be gotten rid of. Cosette spent most of her time too busy working to speak with Eponine. On occasion it made her feel a little guilty, but when she volunteered to help out a little around the inn her mother dismissed her, saying something about not wanting Eponine to work herself to death, or worse ugliness. Eponine knew not what was the difference between herself and Cosette, but wouldn't accept the beating that would come with asking such a question.

Cosette was an ugly child, but not inherently so. She'd been made thin and sickly with poverty and overwork. Sometimes Eponine was tempted to sneak down to Cosette's room with one of her woollen coats, and give her something warm to sleep under. She never mustered the courage though. Mother would surely find out, and then where would she be?

Despite her raggedness, the dirt and grime which clung to her, Eponine saw something soft in Cosette's eyes. They were big and blue like any fictional beauty's, yes, but more than that: in a rare moment, when Cosette was still for once and Eponine could reach her gaze, there was a sparkle to them. Hope. It was an emotion Eponine only saw on rare occasion and she could not help but think it was the most beautiful thing in this world.

-

It took many years for Eponine to see Cosette again, during which: she fell from grace. She was but a child when they were forced from their inn for reasons she could not understand; and scarcely older when her father made it clear to her she too had responsibility for keeping this family fed. Sometimes she could barely remember the other girl. Only that she was scraggly and dirty and starving - just like Eponine.

The second she met those eyes, however, she _knew_. Cosette didn't see her, but that was of no matter. Whilst Eponine had plummeted into the depths of hell, Cosette had done just the opposite - she appeared like an angel. She had the complexion of a porcelain doll, and shimmering gold hair that burned red in the sunlight. The soft white and blue fabrics she was clad in made her appear etheral, like if you blinked she would suddenly cease to exist. Eponine was very careful to keep her eyes open.

At that moment, she could not think. Not of how much her parents would despise her for dragging that girl back into their lives, nor of how she did not deserve to come anywhere near Cosette, nor of how Cosette may despise her for not being part of 'the natural order of things', nor what a defiance of said natural order this was. She only knew that she must make her way to Cosette's side, and remain there.

For what she had once seen in Cosette had now blossomed into something else, and Eponine learnt that yes, there was one thing more beautiful than hope. Happiness. And not the contented happiness of one who has known no true discomfort, and hence is merely satisfied with life, as there is nothing in particular to be dissatisfied with (as Eponine had been as a child, before she knew what the world could do). No, this was the happiness of someone who had seen despair and pain, and hence appreciated every day without it.

God had saved her, blessed her. Eponine was enthralled. She couldn't prevent herself from thinking: if only she could make her way back to the other girl. For if she did, if Cosette learnt to love her, perhaps God would have mercy. Perhaps he would save Eponine like he did Cosette.

-

Marius had been a friend of hers for several months now, though at some distance. He was the heir of a rich family, who lived like a pauper for some unknown reason (she had gathered it was something concerning his father, and grandfather. She thought it better not to pry). He offered her charity on occasion, and she did not want to accept it - he was one of the few people she knew with whom her relationship did not seem based on pity; she didn't want to corrupt that. However she feared her father would somehow know if she declined money (money she did not even have to extort!), and the punishment she would receive would be worse than the scar on her soul. So she always accepted.

She did not realise Cosette was looking at Marius at first. She was too enraptured. But when Marius turned to her, asked her to find the girl, it soon came together.

The realisation filled Eponine with unbridled anger. What right did Marius have to Cosette? Did he know her? How could he possibly appreciate her radiance and light if he did not see it long ago, when Cosette was used and abused and yet, still not broken? Marius was just a spoiled rich boy, and there was nothing in him that could possibly deserve Cosette, nothing.

She soon realised the insanity of her thoughts. Marius was not just some rich rebellious brat; he was a good and kind man, who she trusted more than anyone in her life (not that he faced much competition). In all honesty, he was exactly the kind of man Cosette deserved. Eponine wasn't. She wasn't even a man.

It just hurt.

She also realised that leading Marius to Cosette was her only chance of becoming part of Cosette's life anyway. After all, what would Cosette want with her; the personification of all the darkness in her past? But as Eponine was Marius's friend, Cosette would have no choice but to accept her. Then she could atone. Then she could apologise for her family, and redeem herself in whatever way Cosette desired. Eponine was Marius's friend; Marius would be Cosette's lover, and then Eponine would be Cosette's friend also. She would pretend that was enough.

-

Marius met Cosette at a gate, while Eponine watched from afar. Cosette stood in a beautiful garden, which suited her far more than any surroundings Eponine had ever seen her in. Somehow she doubted the girl was real; she seemed more like a Greek Goddess, stepped out of a painting and into life. Could this really be the same girl she had known so long ago?

(Well yes, or else she would be nowhere near as beautiful.)

Then her father came and, with the bravery that only comes fueled by love, she chose to protect Cosette. She was beaten that night for her disobedience, but she suffered it bravely. For she was doing what she could not do as a child: sacrificing herself for the sake of another.

But the letter she finds bewildered her. Because Cosette was leaving. She could she leave? So soon after she had been found? Eponine felt like God was taunting her; giving her hope then taking it away. And Cosette wanted Marius to come to her, before she left for England, and she was at this house and...

Eponine knew she owed Cosette kindness. But what was kindness in such circumstances? Marius was due at the barricades and could easily be killed there; did Cosette know that? Eponine doubted that Cosette would want Marius to abandon the cause for her. But would he? Suddenly she realised the distance between herself and Marius, for she really had no idea what he would do if he showed her this letter.

She decided to hide it from him. She felt awful for tricking and deceiving the angel who wrote it, but - Marius could not come into more internal conflict. Not now. The different obligations would tear him apart at the barricade, if he still chose to be there; he would be distracted and it would get him killed. And then Cosette would be in pain.

But he could be killed there anyway, and Eponine realised it was her duty to follow him there. To save him for Cosette. She did not know how long it would take until Cosette and her father would leave for England; she could only hope they would still be there when she was free to tell Marius where to go.

Then again, perhaps she did not. For if Cosette left for England immediately, Eponine would likely never see her again - but she would not have to see her with someone else either. When she considered it, she did not know which fate was worse.

-

The Barricades were a flithy and frightening fight; nothing like the grand day of reckoning she heard Enjolras speak about. She felt like a rat caught in a trap - as she did most of her life, but this was different, for this time she chose to be here.

The soldiers came in like the tide and Marius did something brave and stupid, threatening to blow them all up if they didn't withdraw - and himself with them (and, for that matter, everyone else). It was the exact kind of wonderful, noble gesture Eponine knew she wasn't capable of - but she saw a soldier aim a gun at Marius's chest and panicked. She came here to protect him - she had to protect him for Cosette. For even if Cosette was never to see him again, Eponine somehow had faith in her to _know_ if the man she loved was dead. And she couldn't let that happen. On instinct, he grabbed the body of the man's gun - just as he pulled the trigger.

_Boom._

-

It was starting to rain.

"What have you done?"

Marius immediately scooped her into his arms, and he pulled in closer to him. She did not love him like Cosette, but was good to be held by someone sweet and good who did care for her as she died. It was more than she ever expected. She did not bother fooling herself this was anything other than death, and she was not particularly afraid. What pain could death inflict on her that life had not already?

She remembered the letter. Without her, Marius would have no idea what had happened; he would return to the house with the garden for Cosette and find it empty. "Marius," she choked out, starting to taste blog, "my pocket. There's... a letter. From Cosette. I hid it; I'm sorry."

Marius blinked at her in confusion, but quickly fetched it from her breast pocket. Suddenly, a look of realisation struck his face, full of guilt. "Oh, 'Ponine..."

She had to laugh. "No Marius, it is not what you think." And he returned to confusion. She felt Death's scythe looming above her, and suddenly grasped Marius's hand. "Take care of her for me," she said. "Please?"

And the look of realisation came again, this time softer and sadder. "Yes," Marius said, wrapping his fingers around Eponine's, raising them to his lips and kissing them. "Yes I will."

And as her eyes closed, she felt Marius lay a gentle kiss upon her forehead. The rain still fell on her face. She remembered when she was a child, and mother would send Cosette out in the rain - for bread, for meat, for a punishment. And Cosette would come in soaked, but be given no respite; not allowed to warm herself by the fire, nor even given a rag to dry herself with. And Eponine said nothing.

Perhaps this is her punishment. Perhaps God tested her young, and seeing her unwilling to help stop the suffering of another, chose to inflict the same agony on her.

Or perhaps this is what happens, when a demon - or even just a human being - believes she can stand by the side of an angel.


End file.
